Ah suburbia! Outside of the pesky city with all its temptations. It’s really a beacon of light and hope in this dark void of a world. One could even call it paradise! And the pillars of perfection are laid out by three glorious beings. Of course I’m exaggerating a bit here. There’s more than three of them, silly! The HOA. Home Owners’ Association. Ah! What a wonderful institution. Because of them, everything is perfect. Because of them, Arcadia Gardens is perfect. I’ll prove it to you. Here’s a letter from one of the residents:
Today I took a stroll in the neighborhood, waving to everyone I passed. They waved back with friendly smiles, though they never seemed to reach their eyes. I was walking rather fast, though, so I must have been imagining things. My husband worked all day and night yesterday, so he wasn’t home. The strangest thing happened. I found a drawer with a lock of someone’s hair in it. Someone else’s
Oh my would you look at that! Seems like the rest of the letter was lost. We’ll have to contact someone about her…about that. Everything is perfect! Sophia, the lovely young woman who wrote the letter above, is perfectly happy. (If you see her, please be sure to ask after her happiness. We don’t want anyone suffering now, do we?) She lives in such a luxurious house with a grand bed one could get positively lost in. And she has such an eye for gifts. She gets them for her neighbors every time she’s over for a spot of tea and gossip.
What’s that you heard? Criminal activity in Arcadia Gardens? Oh, that pesky business? We’ll take care of her. Can’t go around breaking the HOA’s agreements now, can we? Everything is perfect! This little book, Comfort Me with Apples, has been baked up as proof of Arcadia Gardens’ perfection. Visit Sophia in her exquisite happiness. See how loved she is throughout the positively astounding prose. See the heart of it all as you leaf through this book filled with perfect happiness.
Oh and after you’ve taken a bite, be a dear and share it with someone.
(I received an ARC from the publisher. Thank you.)
